Over The Hump

My last therapy session was a good opportunity to take a look back at the mental recovery I've undergone since the turn of this year. Having gotten over a minor heartbreak, nicotine addiction, cleaned up my diet and exercised more consistently I find myself getting less in my own way.

What's more, I've turned to positive steps that actually improve my state rather than just avoid damaging myself: I've picked up a habit of journaling (and blogging), working on my novel, practicing my instruments and diving headfirst into songwriting.

I recognised that this behaviour is par for the course when it comes to my behaviour. I've isolated myself from problems in order to cope. Nevertheless, turning to reflection and artistic expression in solitude is a healthy coping mechanism I feel. Perhaps a better term rather than "coping mechanism" is "processing mechanism".

Still, the danger that one rationalises problems away without addressing their cause is a recipe for relapse. What are the problems that have led me to seek shelter? I think that most of them ultimately stem from my failure to establish proper boundaries.

By doing so, I've overextended myself. I've allowed myself to be treated in ways I didn't like - and I only have myself to blame. Whether it's saying 'no' and refusing to be sucked in some family dispute, or saying 'no' to being treated in some way by the opposite swx, or saying 'no' to some work project - the establishment and maintenance of my boundaries seems to have been a cause of my crappy start to 2023.

There are exogenous factors, that much is true. Most problems arise in this manner: they occur quasi-randomly since individuals' behaviour is quasi-random, be it being dumped out of nowhere, a big work project or a fight between family members. It's my response to these random events that has to be contemplated and from which lessons have to be drawn.

The heart of the matter is boundaries, now I need to fill in the details.