Patience With Evolution

Minor interruptions to my routine tend to snowball. It was raining this morning and so I postponed my walk, electing to work on a song instead. Yet I feel... Lethargic. I don't feel quite myself today. Though admittedly it is a bit of a chicken and egg story.
Do I not feel quite myself because my routine has been disrupted or has my routine been disrupted because I do not feel like myself? In truth, this is just another Gordian knot I have to cut through to get on with things. The path of causation is not really important. What is important is to stop scratching my head as I look back wondering how I get here and keep moving.
Now that I'm walking and contemplating, things are slowly settling in my mind. I've been obsessing over trivialities, like which phone to buy to replace the one with a cracked screen. Why am I wasting all this energy on something of so little consequence?
Perhaps it's because it's an easy problem with a definite resolution. Compare that to other challenges: writing a song, writing a novel, nicotine addiction recovery, romantic disappointment, more bodyfat than I find comfortable...
Solving for the best phone to buy given a budget is so simple by comparison and gives the illusion of time being spent productively. There's also the pleasure of actually making a decision and its resultant sense of accomplishment, not to mention the pleasure of owning something new and shiny.
Shopping is not dissimilar to video games from this point of view. Simple problems with clear resolutions ("Mission Accomplished") that make you feel as though you achieved something ("Level Up"). This is not to say they're bad things. No, the problem is that they're a little too good. Anything that lights up the pleasure centre of the brain can be turned into an evolutionary trap; exploiting an environmental adaptation (moths' attraction to flames) to your advantage (a moth light trap).
Demotivated as I may feel, I can just quietly get on with things. I think today may be about taking my time and continuing to recover from my recent difficulties. Focus on light activity, basic housework, practicing and less outcome-focused creative efforts. Today will be about taking a deliberately patient and self compassionate approach to growth.